I was at Ruby Tuesday’s a couple of weeks ago with a friend of mine named Kim. Kim’s a sweet girl who also happens to be white. Why does that matter? That’s what I said! After we had finished eating and our waitress handed us the bill, we proceeded to amuse ourselves by sharing humorous stories. It was then that I noticed eight black girls sitting at a table next to us. I noticed them because I sensed eyes watching me rather closely. I was hoping it was because I had ketchup in my hair or something ridiculous like that. But to my sad, sad realization, they were giving me the look like “Why is he with a white girl? Are they dating? Are they together or something? Couldn’t he get a black girl to go with him?”

So this begs the question, “What’s wrong with white girls?” and my response every time is: “Nothing!”

I really feel sorry for folks who are unwilling to branch out of their own little world. You miss out on so much. There’s more to a person than meets the eye. But too many people live in “brick and mortar” land where a black man and a white woman having a good time together is thought of as a mismatch, a wrong or even an insult. I think many people still live in the past, losing sight of the changes it sought to bring.

And to the eight ladies at Ruby Tuesday’s: I don’t see why you’ve got such a problem with me going out to dinner with a white girl. I love all people, including white girls! You should too. It wouldn’t hurt to get to know one here and there. Yes, it’s very possible I’ll marry one (gasp!). And who told you that you could only hang out with your own kind? You know, it’s sad how something as meaningless as a pigmentation, if changed, would’ve drastically change that night.

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Have you ever been pulled over by a cop (going, say…100mph) and asked if you knew how fast you were going? What kind of question is that anyway? I almost wanted to retort “What? Did your speed gun run out of juice?” or “I’m pretty sure that’s your job” or perhaps even “Look pal, I have things to do. Either give me a ticket, or don’t.” Either way, I think it’s safe to say that the answer is never a “yes” or a “no” because that could give away the wrong impression. Skeptical? Consider these responses:[…] Read the rest of this entry »

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Ladies, if this is the first time you’re been asked to do something like a man, don’t lose heart—t’s not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, with a little knowledge and application, it can be quite rewarding. But first, let me say that there’s nothing wrong with salads, soups or even peanuts for that matter. But when you tell your guy you’re hungry and he takes you out to a really fancy place—like Quiznos, you should respect that and have the decency to order some kind of dead bird. Chicken works for me. Turkey could be your thing. Whatever. Something that a turtle would have a hard time finishing, you know? This eliminates most of your greens, nuts and soups.

The second part to this evening is as crucial as the first. There’s nothing worse than a delectable meal going to waste because you’re scared of what your boyfriend, the waiter or the mirror, might think of you. You honestly needn’t be worried about such things. If your guy thought you were an endless pit waiting to happen, he would’ve stashed his money long ago—or ordered 10 pounds of Top Ramen. Okay, now this is where the balancing act comes in. There’s nothing a guy likes more than to see a girl who can:

1. Order a sizeable portion of food
   (Larger than your shoes, smaller than your bag)
2. Eat it with grace
   (Timely bites, minimal facial food art, minimal complaining and no finger-licking)
3. Finish it all
   (Help the waiters out and give them less to throw away!)
4. Keep the conversation going
   (After all, your relationship is with the guy, not the food)

Some caveats for you over-achievers. It’s generally advisable if you could stay within the boundaries of the following.

1. Try not to eat more than your man
   (There’s something odd about you signaling the waiter to bring you yet another order of chicken Alfredo with fries and coleslaw while your man is struggling with his first order of a double cheese burger)
2. Try to be respectful of his budget, however implicit it might be
   (So let’s say you know how much a guy like him can put down. You also know that he’s hungry. But! He gets a plain chicken sandwich. Nothing fancy, nothing too expensive. When it’s your turn, don’t order duck.)

I hope these tips help you out on that next special evening.

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