Now I’m sure I’m not the only one who forgets people’s names the minute they announce it. See, what happens is this: When I meet someone and they’re first to introduce, I’m too busy reminding myself that I need to introduce myself once they’re done. That might sound crazy, but I’ve actually walked away from handshakes without giving the other person my name, only to have them pull me over to say they don’t “believe” they got my name, when what they really meant to say was “Aye! You smokin’ crack?! You better get your behind over here and tell me who you are before I jump you!” And boy, if I wasn’t black, my face would resemble a big fat cherry every time that happened. So apparently I was hearing what they were saying but not really “listening”. Yea, that’s bad, I know, but I’m working on it. Remember that people’s names are important and one should strive to learn them…..

But how do you know if someone knows that you don’t know their name? Perhaps when you say “Hey, man” every time you see them? Or “‘Sup Dude” or better yet, just “‘Sup?” Do they take offense to that? I once had someone completely ignore me because they had reason to believe that I didn’t know their name and when confronted, said, “Pshh, you don’t even know my name.” At this, I was taken aback but not surprised. After all, I had never really called her by her name and on several occasions just couldn’t bring it to memory. However, at that instant it immediately shot out of my mouth and left her quite dumbfounded. She had no excuse and was embarrassed, to say the least. But people do notice…no matter how good you think you are at masking it.

But you may slip up every now and then and find yourself in a nasty mess. I mean, let’s say you legitimately forget someone’s name. How many tries does one get before asking becomes unacceptable? Are they allowed to have clues? What if you just don’t see that person that much? What if they really look like this other person you know? And don’t get me started with twins, telling me they look nothing alike! Who do they think they’re fooling?

But the worst part is, they rarely every forgot my name!! What’s that all about? Why can’t things just be mutual? Cheez! Get it together people!

Popularity: 7%

Aren’t gyms great? I mean, you get to burn some energy, relieve some stress and meet all sorts of people. Well, I don’t know about you but I’m not too fond of them myself.

First off, those weights are really heavy! Yea, and if you don’t have someone to spot you, you might near kill yourself. Secondly, nobody ever smiles! Ever! That’s just not cool. How can something as universal as smiling be looked down upon? It seems like everyone is out to “out-buff” the other person and smiling is a sign of weakness. Oh, and don’t even try talking to anybody. They’ll give you this look like you’re the scum from underneath their feet. It seems as if everyone’s super insecure because the next guy is “more cut” or has bigger biceps than they do and to get over it they have to be seen lifting twice as much as the other guy—even if it looks like cruel and unusual punishment.

It’s like a jungle sometimes. Often when I’m there, all I see are large beastly men with muscles where I never thought they could grow, walking around like apes, pulling on bars, teeth clenched, eyes popping, and grunting very loudly. That kind of environment just makes for tense situations where people embrace irrational decision making. I learned that the general rule of, “If you can’t lift it, put it down,” has been rejected by gyms worldwide. You see guys who look like they’re being electrocuted, shaking frantically trying to lift weights that are just too heavy. I tend to treat weights like kids; the bigger they are, the less you want to pick them up.

But on occasion, I’ll pretend I don’t know anything about working out (pshh, like I need to pretend!), and randomly ask someone to show me the ropes. At this point their egos swell and they say something like: “Well, what you really need to do is work your quadrazoids on the tri-galacto machine over there. And make sure you lift at least 300Ibs, otherwise you’ll ruin the work-out”

Popularity: 10%

So you’ve finally mustered up enough courage to approach that particular young lady and you’ve even managed to get a conversation underway. Okay, so what now? Well, do you know what a runner hates more than not being able to run? It’s having to stop or slow down in any way, shape or form while running. Whether it’s a traffic light or just some uncoordinated pedestrian who can’t walk in a straight line to save their life. That said:

Let’s go through some principles:

1. Let her thoughts marinate

   Have you ever had someone finish your sentences for you? Or interject midway through your story? Or maybe you’ve had someone who didn’t stop out of courtesy when you both start speaking at the same time. Yea, it sucks doesn’t it? Well, don’t do this to women. It’ll suck a hundredfold. Allow time for their thoughts to marinate and don’t assume that a pause is in the conversation is an opportunity for you to open your mouth—because it’s not.

2. If you can’t listen, don’t talk
   This goes without saying. When you’re talking to a girl (and by talking, I mean listening), do try to pay attention to what she’s saying. Not so you can give advice, but so you know what the heck she’s talking about! Sounds like reason enough? I think so! If you can’t do that, then don’t let your mouth run-off like bad tap water. You’ll be glad to know that you’re not required to memorize things because I think that actually takes away from the listening part. If she freaks out later because you couldn’t remember some obscure detail, tell her she’s smoking crack and she should chill out. Also, you can have a conversation without actually saying a word. Yea it’s funny how that happens sometimes, they could be some of the best “conversations” you ever have.
3. Easy with the advice

   You know what’s worse than getting bad advice? Getting bad advice from someone who doesn’t even “know you like that’. For some reason, guys feel they have a duty to fix things because logic seems to suggest it as the obvious solution (or problem). In-fact, it’s so obvious, they’ll ignore principle number one, just to tell you! When it is very likely that you have no idea. And even if you know the right answer, it may not be helpful for you to say it. Sometimes, we human beings just want to get our thoughts into words. Talking to other people forces us to organize those thoughts properly—otherwise, we’d talk to the wall all day because it can’t call us out on our gibberish. We can’t really talk to ourselves because that’s “weird”. But often you’ll hear someone say they’d rather talk to a brick wall and the reason is that brick walls (as opposed to to other types of walls) won’t jump into her conversation to start beating her over the head about what it thinks she should do.

4. Going in deep
   When you get into a series of conversations with somebody, you realize that everyone has problems. It’s the thing that runs in the background underneath the “How are you?: I’m fine,” of everyday life. And though two people can go through similar situations, each person is unique and every similar problem can generate a wildly different result. If that weren’t the case, we’d be acids and bases, where every reaction was highly predictable. This is why principle #3 probably holds. This process is essentially what makes a good conversation (because it’s usually the foundation of good friendships). Don’t be so insensitive as to make the woman think you’re incapable of having such a conversation. Yea, they like to laugh but everyone at some point needs to get beyond the surface. Otherwise, there’s not too much separating you from the guy who just walked by. Be chill when you need to be but also know when you need to put on goggles to dive into deeper waters.

In closing, what a runner really likes is someone who can run with them. Someone who can keep their pace. Someone who doesn’t criticize how they run or how they look doing it. Someone who doesn’t think they’re a better runner than they are. Someone who can offer much needed companionship by silently running at their side, noticing a change of pace or direction and acting accordingly.

Popularity: 35%

If you’re a guy who’s ever been remotely attracted to women, then you’ve probably experienced some difficulties trying to approach them from time to time. You’ve also probably bombed it a couple of times. It’s quite a task for a lot of fellas but really doesn’t need to be. And no, using remarkably thoughtful pick-up lines like, “Hey…somebody farted, let’s get out of here,” just won’t cut it.

So let’s say you’re trying to get going here but you’re wondering how to go about it. Well, everyone’s different so I don’t have a straight answer for you. However, the following observations are here to help. The reason they may look like a big list of no-no’s, is because everyone is different and it’s easier to tell everyone what to avoid rather than to put very different people in boxes. One size doesn’t fit all.

1. Be comfortable
   This is the most important thing I can attribute to successful interactions with females (and society at large). The key component to this starts with you. You need to be comfortable with you. If you’re comfortable going to class right out of bed then don’t let a woman’s opinion get you worried. If you’re comfortable not being the super-macho guy society seems to idolize, then don’t let the guys change you. Cause if you’re not comfortable with yourself, it’ll be hard finding someone who is. The next part, making the girl feel comfortable, should happen quite naturally unless you completely mess up the next four observations. If you get this one down, you’re pretty much good to go. It’s realizing what causes things to be unnecessarily or painfully awkward that’s usually the problem and that’s what you’ll learn about below.
2. Humility helps
   This is best explained with an example:
   If she says you’re a great guitarist, smile and tell her that you don’t know what she’s talking about. Naturally, this will cause her to crack a little smile and she’ll see that you’re not all about yourself. After all, how can you be? You’ve known yourself your whole life…sheeesh! Ok, then what if she asks you how long you’ve been playing? Look at her like you haven’t a care in the world and playfully say “Oh, who knows?” She may actually chuckle a second time and there’s where you turn the topic of conversation to her. Here, your humility would’ve helped you achieve observation #1 - Being Comfortable. So even if you know that you deserve a compliment, that doesn’t necessarily mean you have to receive it with a “Yea, I know. thanks.”
3. No motives
   When I interact with females, I usually don’t have any intentions as far as the “I-want-to-date-you” desire is concerned. I don’t start conversations because I want a girlfriend nor do I start them because I want to go out on a date with someone. That’s kinda shallow if you ask me. I start conversations because the other person is a living, breathing, human-being and that’s reason enough to want to talk to them. Yea, sure, I have “innocent” reasons for talking to people (and they could be decent conversation starters) like asking you whether you’re going to grab that last slice of pizza because I’m hungry, but apart from that, I am free to walk to and from conversations without hassle of trying to impress anyone or get a “relationship” started. There’s no stress of thinking “Ratsicles! She doesn’t like me….I want to stab myself.”
4. No pickup lines
   The only thing you’ll pick-up with these is a death glare, a dirty slap and maybe, if you’re lucky, some mace to the face. Sure, you might think that your pick-up line is different, unlike all the others, we’ll even go as far as saying it’s funny (Hah!) , but until you’ve been inside a woman’s head, just say no to pick-up lines. The only exception I can think of is………no, no. No exceptions. Just say no!
5. No Names, No Numbers
   No names? No numbers? Okay, what’s all this about? Well, the logic behind this is that you can have a wonderful time with someone without bringing in what I call “Nosy-Posies.” That is–questions that are not necessary for you to enjoy the person you’re with at the time. Using them could come off as a premature desire for personal information and quite possibly as stalkerish or desperate. Do you need to know their name? Heck, you may not even be able to pronounce it let alone remember it, when next you meet. However, if she introduces herself first, that’s all good and gravy. Her number? Look at rule number one. Asking for someone’s number on an acquaintance level is rarely ever greeted with, “Gosh, this isn’t awkward.” Like I said, staying away from nosy-posies is a good thing. Think about it, the next time you meet, you’ll remember each other’s faces and it will be a pleasant experience welcomed with a smile and a “Hey, I remember you! I don’t think we got each others names…” This way, no one comes off as desperate or sketch and everything is au naturale!

In the next edition, I’ll talk about things like….umm….listening to the person you’re talking to? Yea, sounds good.

Popularity: 34%

There’s something painfully annoying about being unable to manage an inventory of largely unused personal items. Living in a very “consumerist” generation, we’re all tempted to buy what we don’t need and keep what we have no intentions of using. Personally, I feel that “stuff” can get in the way of enjoying life sometimes and I’ve dealt it severe blows in efforts to keep it suppressed. Keep in mind, the way to get rid of clutter is not always necessarily to “get rid” of things but organization may be your key. However, one of the laws of thermodynamics states that entropy (disorder) is always increasing. Hence, your room will get messier as the week goes by and so will you car and so forth. The less stuff you have, the longer or harder it is to get to that point.

Here’s a case analysis of some possible scenarious you or a friend might be going through!

Apparent Problem: I don’t have the time
Suggested Solution: It shouldn’t take more than a weekend to clean out your garage, closet or other clutter-prone regions. If it really seems like a formidabble task, ask friends, family or neigbors to assit you with the project. To entice them, tell ‘em they can have a couple of things that you were going to sell anyway.

Apparent Problem: I don’t feel right about getting rid of gift items
Suggestion Solution: If you’re keeping something just because it was a gift and not for the sake of purposeful use (now or future), then someone else could probably derive more utility from it. I’m not saying you should give away that guitar in the corner that was the only thing your great-grandfather left behind because such things are understandable.

Apparent Problem: I really need all of this stuff!
Suggestion Solution: It’s quite possible that you do but more often than not, you could do without a lot of it. Most people just need to be a little more resourceful. It takes a little thinking (gasp!), but is quite rewarding and saves you tree branches of money.

Apparent Problem: My stuff is worth something but garage sales aren’t my cup of tea
Suggested Solutoin: There are couple of ways to monetize items that you no longer need without even looking at your garage. Here’s the list.

1. Craigslist
   (Craigslist.org) - Deal locally using a virtual garage sale
2. eBay
   (eBay.com) - For those hard-to-sell-on-the-street items, eBay will reach an insurmountable audience
3. Plato’s Closet/Rag-O-Rama
   - They’ll buy lightly used clothing, accessories, books, music and the like
4. Facebook Marketplace
   - Similar to eBay/Amazon but your marketing efforts can now be targeted.

5. Friends & Neigbors
   - One man’s trash is another man’s treasure.

A lot more places exist but if you can’t sell ‘em in the aforementioned places, then you may just want to consider giving them away:

Apparent Problem: I’m good with keeping clutter away, it’s just my clothes!
Suggested Solutoin: Burn them!—-just kidding. Learn how to fold your clothes or (if you’re somewhat lazy like me), then just hang ‘em up. Yes, all of them. If not, there a couple of places where you can donate clothes to a good cause:

1. Salvation Army/Goodwill
   - They’ll take pretty much anything
2. Recycling agencies
   - They’ll reuse your stuff for noble causes
3. Homeless Shelters
   - They’ll help clothe the sick and homeless

A few last words

1. Try digitizing information to save paper clutter
2. Avoid filling up closet space. Look at the item you’re about store away and ask “Is this ever going to be put to use anytime soon?:
3. If you’re much of a shop-a-holic, treat yourself to relatively more expensive (not extravagant) goods. This way, the considerable price tag of every item will require much consideration for qualities such as utility and necessity that you’ll end up buying less of what you don’t need. When the price is steep enough, you’ll talk yourself out of the decision to make the purchase. Also, the price paid will ensure that the item is not tossed in the closet for “space consumption” any time soon.

Are there any I’ve missed? What’s your excuse?

Popularity: 10%