What’s your name again?
February 4th, 2008
Now I’m sure I’m not the only one who forgets people’s names the minute they announce it. See, what happens is this: When I meet someone and they’re first to introduce, I’m too busy reminding myself that I need to introduce myself once they’re done. That might sound crazy, but I’ve actually walked away from handshakes without giving the other person my name, only to have them pull me over to say they don’t “believe” they got my name, when what they really meant to say was “Aye! You smokin’ crack?! You better get your behind over here and tell me who you are before I jump you!” And boy, if I wasn’t black, my face would resemble a big fat cherry every time that happened. So apparently I was hearing what they were saying but not really “listening”. Yea, that’s bad, I know, but I’m working on it. Remember that people’s names are important and one should strive to learn them…..
But how do you know if someone knows that you don’t know their name? Perhaps when you say “Hey, man” every time you see them? Or “‘Sup Dude” or better yet, just “‘Sup?” Do they take offense to that? I once had someone completely ignore me because they had reason to believe that I didn’t know their name and when confronted, said, “Pshh, you don’t even know my name.” At this, I was taken aback but not surprised. After all, I had never really called her by her name and on several occasions just couldn’t bring it to memory. However, at that instant it immediately shot out of my mouth and left her quite dumbfounded. She had no excuse and was embarrassed, to say the least. But people do notice…no matter how good you think you are at masking it.
But you may slip up every now and then and find yourself in a nasty mess. I mean, let’s say you legitimately forget someone’s name. How many tries does one get before asking becomes unacceptable? Are they allowed to have clues? What if you just don’t see that person that much? What if they really look like this other person you know? And don’t get me started with twins, telling me they look nothing alike! Who do they think they’re fooling?
But the worst part is, they rarely every forgot my name!! What’s that all about? Why can’t things just be mutual? Cheez! Get it together people!
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Catie said,
Yes, that is a problem. I also have a problem with concentrating on what I need to say so much that I forget to listen. However, I don’t just do that with names. Yeah, and the whole go around in a circle and everyone say their name… Who came up with that? I think so much about making sure that I say my name correctly that I don’t hear anyone’s name. I know it shouldn’t take that much thought to say my own name, but it does. Okay, a few pointers! REPEAT! It’s very important when someone tells you their name to repeat it back to them. Then try to use their name in the brief conversation you are having. You can use their name in the middle of the conversation and when saying goodbye. Don’t use it too much because that is just weird. On the other hand, it also personalizes it. I love it when people use my name in text messages or when they greet me. It sends the message that the text or greeting is personal to me. So, I would say that you should try repeating the persons name and look and his/her face so you can try to commit it to memory. If that doesn’t work… you’re up the creek without a paddle.
On February 4, 2008 @ 5:01 am
dale said,
That’s why we should all get name tags tattooed to our chest. So at the point of introduction, you could just point and repeat. Personally, I don’t think it’s your fault. Clearly, you are not an auditor learner. Basically, you have a disability. So we shouldn’t blame you for your disability when we are not willing to get the “chest plate tattoo”? I think not my friend. By “friend” I mean “what’s your face!”
On February 4, 2008 @ 7:24 pm
Ahmaud said,
Well, I always find that I remember the names of people that I actually engage in conversation with. If you just tell me your name, and walk off, you can be sure your name will be forgotten in a moment or two. Impressions are the best way to solidify memories. So, don’t just introduce yourself, make an impression; engage the person you’ve just met. You’ll be sure to remember them, and I bet they’ll remember who you are . . . and your name.
On February 4, 2008 @ 8:51 pm
Audrey said,
Wow…ironic that you wrote this, and we talked about remembering names three days later. I didn’t remember your name, and felt really bad that I didn’t because I had met you several times, and you remembered my name~impressive by the way.
I should definitely start doing what you do and just repeat names in my head until they “stick” lol…
no worries, you know that you’re not the only one who forgets names the minute they announce it.
It’s strange~ I can totally recall conversations and everything about a person but their name.
“But how do you know if someone knows that you don’t know their name?”–definitely how I felt thursday afternoon and friday morning, but now I got it lol.
….and I like Catie’s advice on names…
On February 9, 2008 @ 9:49 pm
Ron said,
ha, this totally reminds of this girl from my high school. She was one of the more popular girls, simply because she was nice to everyone. It used to really bother me cause she’d say “you guys are eating there? omg, i love that restaurant!” or “you guys are playing xbox, omg, i love xbox!” NO! if you don’t every play video games, then no you dont love it! you can’t love everything just cause you think thats what i wanna hear!
anyways, for the longest while, she’d come up to me and my friends and say “hey michael” then look at me and say “hey dude! whats up guys!” I knew she didnt know my name, but it was hilarious to, so i’d point it out to my friends everytime she did it…a couple years later she finally did figure out my name, so that was the end of that game…
On February 9, 2008 @ 11:13 pm
anjulita said,
i am actually a person that suffers from this! whenever someone introduces themselves to me or i have to introduce myself to them, i get so worked up about the fact that they are about to talk to me and they are looking at me and im about to come into physical contact with them by shaking their hand or whatever, that i totally forget everything that they just said to me and what i said to them! sometimes i completely forget conversations and physical movements like if i opened my mouth to talk…. just the other day i was at work and a woman came up to me to introduce her self and said her name and asked for mine and that was that. well later i went up to my friend that works with me and said someone just introduced themselves to me and i have no idea who they are and i dont even think i answered them when they asked who i was! this happens alot and i dont know if its just pure forgetfullness or my social anxiety. i’ve become even more anxious every time i meet someone because im aware that this happens. at the least i’ve learned to be able to laugh at myself and not beat myself up about it ..
On February 27, 2008 @ 1:43 pm