So you’ve finally mustered up enough courage to approach that particular young lady and you’ve even managed to get a conversation underway. Okay, so what now? Well, do you know what a runner hates more than not being able to run? It’s having to stop or slow down in any way, shape or form while running. Whether it’s a traffic light or just some uncoordinated pedestrian who can’t walk in a straight line to save their life. That said:

Let’s go through some principles:

1. Let her thoughts marinate

   Have you ever had someone finish your sentences for you? Or interject midway through your story? Or maybe you’ve had someone who didn’t stop out of courtesy when you both start speaking at the same time. Yea, it sucks doesn’t it? Well, don’t do this to women. It’ll suck a hundredfold. Allow time for their thoughts to marinate and don’t assume that a pause is in the conversation is an opportunity for you to open your mouth—because it’s not.

2. If you can’t listen, don’t talk
   This goes without saying. When you’re talking to a girl (and by talking, I mean listening), do try to pay attention to what she’s saying. Not so you can give advice, but so you know what the heck she’s talking about! Sounds like reason enough? I think so! If you can’t do that, then don’t let your mouth run-off like bad tap water. You’ll be glad to know that you’re not required to memorize things because I think that actually takes away from the listening part. If she freaks out later because you couldn’t remember some obscure detail, tell her she’s smoking crack and she should chill out. Also, you can have a conversation without actually saying a word. Yea it’s funny how that happens sometimes, they could be some of the best “conversations” you ever have.
3. Easy with the advice

   You know what’s worse than getting bad advice? Getting bad advice from someone who doesn’t even “know you like that’. For some reason, guys feel they have a duty to fix things because logic seems to suggest it as the obvious solution (or problem). In-fact, it’s so obvious, they’ll ignore principle number one, just to tell you! When it is very likely that you have no idea. And even if you know the right answer, it may not be helpful for you to say it. Sometimes, we human beings just want to get our thoughts into words. Talking to other people forces us to organize those thoughts properly—otherwise, we’d talk to the wall all day because it can’t call us out on our gibberish. We can’t really talk to ourselves because that’s “weird”. But often you’ll hear someone say they’d rather talk to a brick wall and the reason is that brick walls (as opposed to to other types of walls) won’t jump into her conversation to start beating her over the head about what it thinks she should do.

4. Going in deep
   When you get into a series of conversations with somebody, you realize that everyone has problems. It’s the thing that runs in the background underneath the “How are you?: I’m fine,” of everyday life. And though two people can go through similar situations, each person is unique and every similar problem can generate a wildly different result. If that weren’t the case, we’d be acids and bases, where every reaction was highly predictable. This is why principle #3 probably holds. This process is essentially what makes a good conversation (because it’s usually the foundation of good friendships). Don’t be so insensitive as to make the woman think you’re incapable of having such a conversation. Yea, they like to laugh but everyone at some point needs to get beyond the surface. Otherwise, there’s not too much separating you from the guy who just walked by. Be chill when you need to be but also know when you need to put on goggles to dive into deeper waters.

In closing, what a runner really likes is someone who can run with them. Someone who can keep their pace. Someone who doesn’t criticize how they run or how they look doing it. Someone who doesn’t think they’re a better runner than they are. Someone who can offer much needed companionship by silently running at their side, noticing a change of pace or direction and acting accordingly.

Popularity: 35%

Related Articles:

• How to talk to women 101
• The art of good communication: Part 2
• The art of good communication: Part 1