If you’re a guy who’s ever been remotely attracted to women, then you’ve probably experienced some difficulties trying to approach them from time to time. You’ve also probably bombed it a couple of times. It’s quite a task for a lot of fellas but really doesn’t need to be. And no, using remarkably thoughtful pick-up lines like, “Hey…somebody farted, let’s get out of here,” just won’t cut it.

So let’s say you’re trying to get going here but you’re wondering how to go about it. Well, everyone’s different so I don’t have a straight answer for you. However, the following observations are here to help. The reason they may look like a big list of no-no’s, is because everyone is different and it’s easier to tell everyone what to avoid rather than to put very different people in boxes. One size doesn’t fit all.

1. Be comfortable
   This is the most important thing I can attribute to successful interactions with females (and society at large). The key component to this starts with you. You need to be comfortable with you. If you’re comfortable going to class right out of bed then don’t let a woman’s opinion get you worried. If you’re comfortable not being the super-macho guy society seems to idolize, then don’t let the guys change you. Cause if you’re not comfortable with yourself, it’ll be hard finding someone who is. The next part, making the girl feel comfortable, should happen quite naturally unless you completely mess up the next four observations. If you get this one down, you’re pretty much good to go. It’s realizing what causes things to be unnecessarily or painfully awkward that’s usually the problem and that’s what you’ll learn about below.
2. Humility helps
   This is best explained with an example:
   If she says you’re a great guitarist, smile and tell her that you don’t know what she’s talking about. Naturally, this will cause her to crack a little smile and she’ll see that you’re not all about yourself. After all, how can you be? You’ve known yourself your whole life…sheeesh! Ok, then what if she asks you how long you’ve been playing? Look at her like you haven’t a care in the world and playfully say “Oh, who knows?” She may actually chuckle a second time and there’s where you turn the topic of conversation to her. Here, your humility would’ve helped you achieve observation #1 - Being Comfortable. So even if you know that you deserve a compliment, that doesn’t necessarily mean you have to receive it with a “Yea, I know. thanks.”
3. No motives
   When I interact with females, I usually don’t have any intentions as far as the “I-want-to-date-you” desire is concerned. I don’t start conversations because I want a girlfriend nor do I start them because I want to go out on a date with someone. That’s kinda shallow if you ask me. I start conversations because the other person is a living, breathing, human-being and that’s reason enough to want to talk to them. Yea, sure, I have “innocent” reasons for talking to people (and they could be decent conversation starters) like asking you whether you’re going to grab that last slice of pizza because I’m hungry, but apart from that, I am free to walk to and from conversations without hassle of trying to impress anyone or get a “relationship” started. There’s no stress of thinking “Ratsicles! She doesn’t like me….I want to stab myself.”
4. No pickup lines
   The only thing you’ll pick-up with these is a death glare, a dirty slap and maybe, if you’re lucky, some mace to the face. Sure, you might think that your pick-up line is different, unlike all the others, we’ll even go as far as saying it’s funny (Hah!) , but until you’ve been inside a woman’s head, just say no to pick-up lines. The only exception I can think of is………no, no. No exceptions. Just say no!
5. No Names, No Numbers
   No names? No numbers? Okay, what’s all this about? Well, the logic behind this is that you can have a wonderful time with someone without bringing in what I call “Nosy-Posies.” That is–questions that are not necessary for you to enjoy the person you’re with at the time. Using them could come off as a premature desire for personal information and quite possibly as stalkerish or desperate. Do you need to know their name? Heck, you may not even be able to pronounce it let alone remember it, when next you meet. However, if she introduces herself first, that’s all good and gravy. Her number? Look at rule number one. Asking for someone’s number on an acquaintance level is rarely ever greeted with, “Gosh, this isn’t awkward.” Like I said, staying away from nosy-posies is a good thing. Think about it, the next time you meet, you’ll remember each other’s faces and it will be a pleasant experience welcomed with a smile and a “Hey, I remember you! I don’t think we got each others names…” This way, no one comes off as desperate or sketch and everything is au naturale!

In the next edition, I’ll talk about things like….umm….listening to the person you’re talking to? Yea, sounds good.

Popularity: 34%

Related Articles:

• How to talk to women 102
• The art of good communication: Part 2
• The art of good communication: Part 1