What’s wrong with white girls? Nothing!
July 8th, 2007
I was at Ruby Tuesday’s a couple of weeks ago with a friend of mine named Kim. Kim’s a sweet girl who also happens to be white. Why does that matter? That’s what I said! After we had finished eating and our waitress handed us the bill, we proceeded to amuse ourselves by sharing humorous stories. It was then that I noticed eight black girls sitting at a table next to us. I noticed them because I sensed eyes watching me rather closely. I was hoping it was because I had ketchup in my hair or something ridiculous like that. But to my sad, sad realization, they were giving me the look like “Why is he with a white girl? Are they dating? Are they together or something? Couldn’t he get a black girl to go with him?”
So this begs the question, “What’s wrong with white girls?” and my response every time is: “Nothing!”
I really feel sorry for folks who are unwilling to branch out of their own little world. You miss out on so much. There’s more to a person than meets the eye. But too many people live in “brick and mortar” land where a black man and a white woman having a good time together is thought of as a mismatch, a wrong or even an insult. I think many people still live in the past, losing sight of the changes it sought to bring.
And to the eight ladies at Ruby Tuesday’s: I don’t see why you’ve got such a problem with me going out to dinner with a white girl. I love all people, including white girls! You should too. It wouldn’t hurt to get to know one here and there. Yes, it’s very possible I’ll marry one (gasp!). And who told you that you could only hang out with your own kind? You know, it’s sad how something as meaningless as a pigmentation, if changed, would’ve drastically change that night.
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Posted in The Dating Game |
theADA said,
haha!..okay well, u have to understand, as well educated good for something guys become more succesful they get together with white girls…i guess the black girls dunt wanna be forgotten and neglected..i mean Tiger Woods, Seal, Cuba Gooding Jr., P.diddy(at one point)…and so on. but if its other than that reason than thats just disgusting!!…cuz i like ppl from all over the world..and i gotta say mixed kids r the cutest…next time u see those 8 black girls ask them if they like Vin Diesel, Corbin Bleu, Wentworth miller (yeah hes black), Bob Marley, Shemar Moore, Boris Kodjoe and so many more, and tell them them that all these men which they adore r simply shocked that they black girls r hanging around each other instead of other races….now that needs a gasp!
On July 8, 2007 @ 11:46 pm
nucleus said,
hahaha theres nothin wrong with ~white girls~ if thats what you call them, for crying out loud, we are all living in the year 2oo7. where race, colour pigment, religion n whatever else about an human being whether male or female, shouldn;t come into play. when will ppl realise, you can;t judge a book by its f*ckin cover still, get over it. it didn;t work `then` n it won;t work `now`, hince one of the reasons why are world is soo f*cked. God created you all equal, to mingle with whom you want, when you want, wherever you want, after all didn;t Jesus love everybody .. Mathhew 7;12 ~ so in everythin, do to others what you would have them do to you .. too bad we don’t live by this line, cause this world would be a different place to live in .. lol theres nothin wrong with ~white girls~ i luv ‘em
On July 9, 2007 @ 1:00 am
Tia said,
Oh do I know how you feel. Dating someone of a different race for 10 months, then you can really see the views of others through some awesome stares. The worst is when I will go out to eat with his family and the waitress will not even acknowledge my presence. It’s her job to acknowledge me and not disrespect his mom or dad, but noooooo heaven forbid there’s a little white girl having a good time with a black family.
On July 9, 2007 @ 5:25 am
Vanessa Peterson said,
Chinedu! Bonjour! =)
So I’m diggin’ the new blog spot. It looks great! But yeah, I guess I should be commenting on your post here haha. All I gotta say is, preach it brotha! As a halfie myself, I’m def. about mixin’ the palette haha. Hope you are doing well and keep it up!
On July 9, 2007 @ 7:49 am
Ashley said,
I completely understand… in your case anyway. As a male, you are really entitled to any female of any race you choose. If white girls are your thing, then that shouldn’t be a problem. Don’t worry about those haters you saw at Red Lobster.
However, I, as a black female, am a hypocrite, and I’ve struggled with the notion of Black males dating white females for a while, especially if it’s not a serious relationship. I KNOW there is absolutely nothing wrong with something so innocent, but I don’t know what it is…. Maybe because–and forgive me for being the spokeswoman for all black females–men in general don’t have black girls on the top of their lists when it comes to relationships, attractiveness, etc… and we’d expect that our male counterparts would find us desirable when that’s clearly not the case a lot of the time. Our main supporters are usually white males (who are more than likely wannabes) looking for something “different” or “exotic”, and that’s actually who I found myself with for 2 years. Men like this are rare, though. And now that we’re done, I want to try and get in touch with a someone who shares my same heritage, but that may not happen… especially since black males in big cities tend to be really shallow when it comes to girls…
But enough about me.
Since I know you’re a good natured person, I don’t really see a problem with you taking your friend to dinner. It’s something I just have to get used to our men doing, I guess…
On July 9, 2007 @ 12:34 pm
Cami said,
Hey Chinedu! Love the cool new blog. Interesting topic you brought up…It amazes me how small minded ppl still are at this day and age. Beautiful mixed people are everywhere– they should be enough living proof for multiracial relationships to be accepted, even embraced. I’m in one myself! Some would say it doesn’t really count though because Dan is almost if not more Asian than I am…
Anyways, thanks for sending me the link to your blog– I love it!
On July 9, 2007 @ 2:23 pm
Dani said,
I completly agree with you, since when did race make someone more worthy than someone else. God created all his children equal, and even if you aren’t christian it is still a moral concept that everyone can/should accept. I love having friends of different ethnic backround because I learn more about their culture and I get to share some of mine. Before I met Clay, my best friend was a Black man and he was the kindest soul I’ve ever known, but yes we got so much crap from both white and black people whenever we went out together in public or even at school. the sad part is when we were in 8th grade he asked me to be his girlfriend and some white boys overheard him, later that day they beat him so sever that he had to go the hospital. I have never forgotten that day and never will. I pray for the day when violence against races ends. unfortunatly that day may never happen. but only hope and taking matters into our own hands by creating relationships outside our races can lead to the day when we all live in harmony.
On July 9, 2007 @ 6:25 pm
aGatechHottie said,
Dude, you have issues. OF COURSE there IS something wrong with white girls. I can’t believe you even put this on here. The only black guys who date white girls are ones that have issues or grew up around white people. No REAL black man- in the sense of he grew up around black people- should date a white girl.
Now you are African, so y’all’s culture is kinda funny b/c alot of Africans end up dating and marrying white girls. And I think thats because somewhere down the line it was ingrained in you all that white is somehow better, and since you can’t be white yourself- you need to marry white and have kids close to white.
Oh, to counter some people:mixed kids ARENT the cutest-cuz i’ve seen plenty of REALLY UGLY mixed kids and to Ashley- Black men have ME on the top of their lists when it comes to relationships and attractiveness- you’re hanging around some sorry brothers, sorry:-(
On July 9, 2007 @ 8:22 pm
Naija's First Lady said,
So, as I was reading this article I could not wait to locate the comment box, so I could go to church on this article. For all those black women out there that felt sharp pains in their chest after reading this article, I feel your pain.
Listen ya’ll. It’s not merely a matter of being “ignorant” or “racist” for a Black woman to be upset about seeing a Black man with a White woman. Why? Because it is MUCH deeper than skin colour. So, do I agree with interracial relationships? I cannot tell anyone how to live their life. But, what I can do is try to get Black people to see that the reason why Black men neglect to VALUE their Black women is more than the superficial. It stems from the psychological warfare that has been afflicted upon the Black race since the days of slavery. Black males have been CONDITIONED to think that Black is not beautiful. Everywhere you turn, you are psychologically brainwashed to believe that European features are more desirable. So, that means that whenever you see a Black woman, who is beautiful with her full lips, wide eyes, gorgeous curves and skin the colour of mahogany, it does not register in your mental computer that she is beautiful. Why? Well, because she does not have the features that you have been CONDITIONED to believe are beautiful.
Please, let’s be completely honest, the Black female is being demonized in society. Oh- you beg to differ? Go to your local grocery store, pick up the latest issue of People’s 100 Most Beautiful and show me where you see a pure Black woman. And NO- that does not include Halle Barry or Beyonce- they do not represent pure Black Beauty.
But Black women, we must face it. Our Black men today are weaker than they used to be. But, my Black Brothers, it’s not ALL your fault. Society has done a pretty good job in trying to get you to neglect the Black woman. Why? Because, in the end you neglect the Black family. The Black race is facing extinction from all corners. If it’s not AIDS in Africa, it’s over here, where 25 percent more of our Black men are in jail than in college. Excuse us for being upset for seeing a successful, intelligent Black male who is not on drugs, in jail, or gay with a White woman. Those, my friends, are endangered species.
Not too long ago Black men, put their Black women on pedestals. Believe it or not, Black women are spiritually and scientifically proven to be the strongest of all females. So, please, before you chastise us Black females for having “too much attitude” or for being “too strong” please know our struggle.
And my Black people please know your history. Because, if you knew your history you would know the VALUE and the STRENGTH of the Black woman.
Please believe that it is a system based on White supremacy that is making you say- what’s wrong with White women? What you should be asking is what’s wrong with Black men?
I love you my Black Brothers, all we want is for you to love us too.
Suggested Readings: The Willie Lynch Letter
On July 9, 2007 @ 10:04 pm
Ugo said,
Wow, this is serious son, im afraid to even read the whole thing.
On July 9, 2007 @ 10:13 pm
kendra said,
so the next time a black man asks me out i should say no tell them to find a “scientifically superior black woman” to date because i am not worthy of their blackness. thats is ridiculous. i think people pull the race card too often. i am sorry that this country had slaves but it was over a 100 years ago. asians have been enslaved or put in camps as late as the 1940’s and you dont hear them complaining or pulling the race card. They didnt even get a mule. this is ridiculous i know some of my comments are over the top but come on we all live in america and are free to date whoever we want. we shouldnt limit our happiness to a specific race of people. if you love someone you cant help it and race doesnt play a part.
On July 10, 2007 @ 11:09 am
Shelby said,
I have to agree with Naija honestly. You see I agree with “to each his own” but at a certain point it just kind of hurts. I’m not trying to be mean or down any other race but I have such a deep love for black people, black men, black culture, that it just kind of hurts when the men that I love so much don’t seem to want to return it. Yeah we can all talk about how issues aren’t skin deep and we all have to try to move forward, but if there is no other reason behind this, if I had seen you in public I would have been more hurt than anything else, especially since you are African. Africans have always been brain washed that white is superior since Europeans settled so the worse forms of black on black neglegence I have seen have been from African men.
My ex-boyfriend is currently dating a woman who is white, and he expressed to a mutual friend that he had never met someone who was so willing to make him happy, yet the things she does are no different from me as far as care is concerned. The difference is that she will do his homework and wash his laundry and drive hours wherever he wants to go. Stereotypically, these aren’t exactly things black women will do. They surely aren’t things I would do, and I’m curios to know… SINCE WHEN IS LOVE NOT ENOUGH?
So that ties it all in. Since when is it not enough to love someone, now you have to take into account their skin color? For me, yes i do, simply because I love the culture and passion with mhich me and my brothers have been joined with for centuries, and I refuse to forget that. But as I said, to each his own, but it definitely makes me sad.
Oh and it is never okay for a white person to say we pull the race card too much or that slavery was too long ago for us to still be concerned with the aftermath. You will NEVER experience what I do daily. Not trying to argue but don’t speak on what you don’t know. It’s just not a good look.
On July 10, 2007 @ 12:17 pm
theADA said,
-i can see where both Shelby and Kendra r coming from.
black women do have to face a lot more conflict because our beauty has been put down, and if that was wut those 8 girls where feeling, thats understandable - its not right, but understandable. Like i sed before, black women feel some kinda of neglect or loss of self worth bc they see sucessful black men going out with a white woman and wonder why its not them(save the last dance has a good example of this!).
But Kendra has a point, i do feel slavery did happen a long time ago, and we as black woman should move forward. okay, yes we were put down, but cant we pull ourselves back up??…Rosa Parks did on that bus, defying the status quo. why cant we?…why cant we start showing not only the black community but all races what and who black women r - i dont mean that commercial exotic crap, who we r and what we really stand for. If we wanted things to change, then we can certainly do it, despite what history says - takes time and perseverance, and faith.
i do agree with Shelby that if you your not black, dont try and talk about slavery and the inferiority that roared out at that time…no other race can never know how we felt, neither can me as a black person know what the Jews felt. Altho asians have been put in camps, their woman were not put down by physical standards. thats something us black girls must overcome.
Pulling the race card goes both ways - white, black, asian, hispanic. Everybody pulls the race card, sometimes without knowing..so dont say black ppl pull it way too much when white and everyone else does it as much.
My thing is, it seems when seeing biracial couples one wants to figure out what point they’re making, or trying to make a point out of it. We should stop trying to make points and be happy for a brotha or sista who found love cuz we all know thats hard to find. so i agree if u like someone, no matter what race, just be with them, after all the truth is we r all equal. so if ppl give u a bad look, thats their problem, give ur race-significant other a kiss and let them look at u more. boyah!
go on and brush those looks of ya shoulderz.
On July 10, 2007 @ 1:20 pm
Jared O'Neal said,
As an black guy, I empathize with Naija and Shelby, to an extent. I do see a lot of black men put down their black women, especially the darker toned black women. But Naija, I really think that you crossed the line when you said that black men are weaker than they used to be. I know plenty of strong men out there, who get overlooked by black women for various reasons. You need to examine what kinds of black men you are dealing with, and maybe you will find you are the reason why you are seeing these trends.
You get mad at black men who date white women, but I see plenty of black women, who won’t even look at me, and will go throw themselves at my cuban or lightskinned friends. Do I get mad? No I DON’T, because there are plenty who will overlook my cuban and lightskinned friends, and come talk to me. Now, I don’t think it is right either way, but you can’t talk about men doing this if women do the same thing. I could go on and on about this, but I’m only gonna get mad.
Now this is for Naija and Kendra…Black men are the MOST demonized ethnic group in the world. Do you really wanna know how many times I’ve been stopped at my own school, and asked to show some identification to prove that I went there? Kendra, do you think that the Asian males have to do this? The white males? In fact, a black female janitor called the police on me last week, because she suspected that I was not a student. I was wearing a bookbag, and I wasnt even wearing baggy pants that day. Why would she possibly suspect that I was not a student? HMMM…answer that for me, Kendra. I am very slow to pull the race card, but don’t use that argument that slavery was 100 years ago, and that asians were enslaved in the 1940s. Are you seriously forgetting about what was happening from 1865 until now? Get real…Im not jumping on you though. If I was white, I would probably say the same thing. But do your research.
And Naija, finally, I see that the white race has gotten to you, too. I can tell by those facts you like to use, like the 25 percent more of black men in prison than in college. This is the most unrealistic statistic, but I’ll let you find out how so. Anyway, I think you are still a nice girl though. We should talk about this more, Naija.
Chinedu, I’m mad that those girls didnt even think that the girl might have just been your friend. But dont sweat it.
On July 10, 2007 @ 5:11 pm
ms reid said,
hey chinedu! the site looks great. well on the subject first and foremost and i am a beautiful and intelligent African American female
but i def. love EVERYBODY anybody who knows me knows that i just love people and beinga around them all the time. i have indian, costa rican, uruguayan, filipino, korean, african american, etc friends
BUT i think the only reason it hurts my heart just a little to see african american males with white females is that i feel that there are not that many supporters of african american females out here in the world… think about… whats the percent of commercial that have black girls lookin “beautiful” unless they are beyonce whos hair is down her back… thats another subject…
its hard for african american women to be seen, heard, and understood, so if our african american males arent there who is there to support us besides ourselves ????
The main reason I hear black men date white women is that they are more submissive.. but whatever
thats what i have to say
On July 10, 2007 @ 7:00 pm
kendra said,
After reading everyone’s comments I realize that I do not know what black people go through everyday and pulling out slavery was wrong of me. I just feel that it is also wrong for white women to be generalized as submissive and that the only reason black men or men in general want to be with us is because we are “easy” and will cater to them. I am neither easy or submissive and have never been described that in my life. That being said, I think that this blog and this issue has separated women when there are so many things out there that we need to confront together as a united front. I think that its true women are not portrayed correctly in the media there are many types of beauty and they all need to be celebrated.
Along with these issues of beauty and self confidence there are many other issues that are far more important including the trafficking of women and children, abuse in relationships, and non equal pay for women and children. So in conclusion, interracial dating is such a small issue and it creates much more hatred and animosity when the women of the united states need to be joined to fight against the other vices of the world.
On July 10, 2007 @ 8:16 pm
ouida said,
yikes man….you certainly stepped in it with this one. i am glad i could be initiated on your blog with such a fiesty topic. my only comment is that i found it immensely amusing that the first blog of yours i read has to do with you hanging out with a girl. perhaps those black women wouldn’t have responded to you by staring if you weren’t oozing your chinedu charisma the way you try to do with all women you talk with. or maybe you should have thrown a little of your charisma in their directions.
On July 11, 2007 @ 10:23 am
Kristen said,
Forget commenting on this thing…I’m writing my own blog entry in response. I’ll let you know which blog whenever I figure that part out
On July 11, 2007 @ 3:08 pm
hannoush said,
I really don’t have much to say about this post. I just wanted to let you know, my musical brother, that I have bookmarked and will be checking this site about a great, well-traveled, people-oriented man.
On July 11, 2007 @ 4:18 pm
Tia said,
oh wow!! that’s all I must say!
I guess I’ll comment again…. *in my opinion* A man and a women should love each other. End of comment.
Black, Asians, women, Hispanics, people of all races have been pushing for equal rights and freedoms since a LOOOONG time ago. I just wish that we step out of skin color and be those equals that we have been fighting for. Yes we have come a long way, but there is always more room to get better. No, I will never understand what a black person would go through with the stereotypes, as a black person would never understand what a white person goes through. The stereotype with white people is that we live perfect lives and that we are seen as “better.” But I’m one to say that my life has been far from perfect. I do not see myself as being better than any other white, black, asian, hispanic, european woman.
As to keeping my black boyfriend, white women are not my only competition, women of all races are. *in my instance* my boyfriend does not date me because I am white, he dates me because he has feelings for me. I did not know that the certain chemistry that comes with a relationship is only granted to people with the same skin color. If so, I’m sorry that I was born white and my boyfriend was born black, but I do not know how people want us to fix that.
A man should love a women past her skin color. If a black guy is dating a black woman just because she is black, then I feel that is wrong. Or if a black man is dating a white women just because she is white, that is also wrong. So I do not say sisters and refer to other white women. I say sisters and refer to allll women around the world. And when I say people I refer to allll the people of the world, not just one race. Race is merely a tan, it does not make a person.
On July 13, 2007 @ 8:23 am
harleyblues said,
Good post
Well my sister Is married to a biggin of a guy she is Itallian he is black. I never understood that cuz Itallians sometimes donot know their own idnity were ” Hey, Italian No whtta mean?” hehehehe
I dont mind mixed couples for the most part. Man you wanna see sometin different go to PARIS!
ta
harleyblues
Im votin for ya’s
tallights
Christina
On July 14, 2007 @ 6:45 am
Sarah said,
I’m glad you are my friend Chinedu! I would probably cry if I you weren’t my friend because I’m white. I sincerely hope that you don’t ever start choosing your friends or girlfriends based on the color of their skin! (knowing you, you won’t!
On July 14, 2007 @ 8:36 pm
Sarah said,
wow so I was just reading a bunch of the comments above, and I have a lot of things to say about them, but I don’t want to write a whole book about this, so I’ll just say a couple of things. I don’t understand the possessive “ours” “theirs” attitude. As a white woman I do not think that white men are “mine”, as a Christian woman I do not think that Christian men are “mine”, as a woman engineer I do not think that engineering men are “mine”. My husband is “mine” and that’s it! If my husband thinks that I am beautiful, it doesn’t matter what other men think I’m beautiful. It doesn’t matter if Black, White, Indian, Asian, Middle Eastern, or European men think I am beautiful. I do not think that generalizations about what Black men or White men think about Black women or White women should play any part in relationships. Every relationship is unique and it is generalizations about groups have given the world problems for thousands of years!
On July 14, 2007 @ 8:58 pm
Michael said,
As a purely objectional outsider, I would like to say that race shouldn’t matter. I claim to be purely objectional outsider because I am probably the only Jew that is going to post for Chinedu, probably. Anyway, the way people look for spouces is all in the way they were raised. You cant get mad at someone for the way they were raised, they had no control.
If a guy was raised in the middle of a bunch of crazy bitches all of the same ethnicity, he’s not gonna want to marry one of them. If a girl is raised around men that abuse them, as is the case with the immigrant Irish of who-knows-when (I believe it was a Potato famine in the 1800’s), she wont want to marry one of them. It’s as simple as that.
Now, I was raised with gentle proddings from my mother, father, and community to not care about race, as have many of you that commented, I see. The only dead set fact about my future that I was raised with is that my children will be brought up with Judaism in their lives.
I am sorry if I offended anyone, especially Irish men from the 1800’s. This was only intended to inform people that if someone makes a decision to take someone out, or not to date you, it’s probably not their fault, but yours. Glaring at them and making them feel bad only worsens the situation and, in this case, probably makes Chinedu less likely to want to date a black girl.
Chidedu, I always thought you would end up with an Asian women, btw…
On July 17, 2007 @ 7:33 am
Michael said,
Also, I like intelligent girls. Do the less intelligent girls glare at me? Do brunettes think that blondes take all the men (ok, bad example and it actually goes both ways)? Should skinny girls be mad at the guys that take out plumper girls?
Be happy with yourself and you’ll find the one for you. He/She might have to date around before realizing your the one, but that’s for them to realize. You cant guilt them into it (and as a Jew, I know all about the uses of guilt). That’s just a little more thought on the subject.
On July 17, 2007 @ 8:08 am
Tara said,
Wow. So many people are running their mouths about this post. Comments like:
“men in general don’t have black girls on the top of their lists ”
“Our main supporters are usually white males”
“black males in big cities tend to be really shallow when it comes to girls”
“The only black guys who date white girls are ones that have issues or grew up around white people. No REAL black man- in the sense of he grew up around black people- should date a white girl.”
“the Black female is being demonized in society.”
and sooo many more…..
are GENERALIZATIONS. If people looked past color I’m sure you could find both black men and white men that treat women badly or treat women right, have good jobs or are lazy. You can also find women of either color that are more or less attractive. As for the argument about preserving culture… why can’t you share your culture with someone of different culture and adapt to theirs also? I may be white but my heritage is very diverse- Russian, German, Irish, English, Polish, Scottish, and Native American. Now don’t you think that back when my ancestors of all these different nationalities came together that they had more cultural differences than two Americans in 2007 of different races have?
To the woman who said,
“Believe it or not, Black women are spiritually and scientifically proven to be the strongest of all females.”
Can you give me the resources that brought you to make this statement? Last time I checked woman all different races have faced hard times and have overcome them with amazing strength. Is there a standard measurement of strength? WHo can measure it? I can’t.
Pal,
When those girls at the other table were looking at you both they saw a black man and a white woman. When you looked at those girls you saw that they are black girls. They made assumptions, generalizations, and had preconcieved ideas…and so you did the same to them. Maybe they werent giving you looks because of race… maybe they were just jealous of the girl you were with because they think you look like quite a catch. I can imagine me and a table of white girls seeing a couple whether they be of the same race or different races, whether the girl be my race or another, or the guy be my race or another, I might stare if I find the guy to be attractive and out of jealousy compare myself thinking, what’s she have that I don’t. Basically you’re guilty of the same thing you’re accusing those girls of. I’m not say you’re wrong about what they were thinking, I’m saying you just can’t say you’re right… because if you do you’re engaging in the same kind of thinking that you’re accusing the girls of…and the same kind of thinking that brought so many generalizations about in the prior comments.
take care.
On July 18, 2007 @ 11:52 am
Maximus said,
Wow! That post really hit a nerve!
Is the color of a persons skin so touchy a subject as to warrant so much conversation? In the this petty, sad and stupid world the answer is “Yes”.
I think that any woman who are concerned about having a man should learn to be the best woman she can be, for herself as well as those she cares about. And men who want good realtionships should learn to be the best men they can be, for themselves and those they care about.
We all have a responsibility/duty to be the best person we can be so that our world can be the best it can be.
We are ALL one existence.
On July 18, 2007 @ 12:27 pm
unknown said,
anyone is alowed to be with the other they have thier rights
On July 23, 2007 @ 11:43 pm
Daddy in a box said,
In the end of all you have said , is this one simple fact, that you noticed the issue, that you were acutely aware of their active prejudice, you will have reached that level of social freedom you doom them for not having , when you dont even notice people like them in your sphere.
On July 23, 2007 @ 11:53 pm
Elena said,
Oh My God. first of all, i am a white girl, i am 16 years old, and i spent 6 and a half years in Zambia (Central to South Africa), i went there with my family when i was 2 and a half years old and left when i was nine. i went to an International school, i had all sorts of different races with me, so i grew up knowing that i am equal with EVERYONE. i also knew as a child that color does not make a person. that a black person, a white person, and Indian person, a Chinese person, a Russian person and so on, could be the same amount, pretty, ugly, evil, racist, smart, good etc. when i was nine i left and came to Cyprus. the wrold here was a whole different dtory, the kids used to tease me and my sister and call us “black” just because we had come from Africa, we of course would just laugh in their faces, we aren’t African, since we were born in Cyprus and our whole family is Cypriot, but we sure felt more African than Cypriot. it has been 7 years since then. i have known a world of racismand prejudice, and being a person who has many different types of friends, form jocks to rockers to rappers to preps to whatever categories there are, i hate it. who says that we should only be with people of the same race? yes we might have been made that way, but there is no law of nature that prevents to different people to be together, i mean, a world that is prepared to accept relationships between the same sex, has still not gotten over people of a different race being together? and whats this whole BLACK AND WHITE thing, the wrold isn’t made into black and white!!!! there are different white people and there are different black people! a black Zambian is different from a black NY person, a white Greek is different from a white Chinese! i understand where black women are coming form when they feel that their men are being taken, and indeed they are bombarded by the media and everyday life, but that has its roots in our racist problem and indeed that the black people in this world are a minority, due to the fact that most countries are still third world ones. if the goverments do not try to help their people if we do not get rid of all our prejudice, if black AND white peole stop treating each other like they are something different, how can we expect to live in a proper world, an interacial cosmos ad call ourselves people of the twenty - first century??? we might as well still be living in our family cave fighting our neighbor caveman family out of our territory.
On July 24, 2007 @ 12:18 am
Desola said,
Well I must say that it is good to have someone who is as open minded as I am speak out on such racism. I mean that is exactly what it means, because when black girls do that, they in turn are pointing out the fact that white girls are not worthy enough to be with a black man. I pose this question to you though: Why are you so worried about that black man being with a white girl? It’s not like he set out to put you down when he did it, so why should it bother you? If you hold on to the strong black woman in you, and don’t worry about whether or not ANOTHER WOMAN’S MAN thinks you’re good enough, you’re more likely to land a man that’ll treat you like the queen you are. But at the same time I personally think it’s worse the other way around. At least black women stay in the background, my experience with some black men have been less classy. I’ve had some come up and openly discredit my relationship, I’ve had others just disregard my boyfriend because they “can’t believe I’m with him, when I obviously could do better with them”. But to me they just prove I got the better deal and they continue to prove it over and over with every word that comes out of their mouths. Of course on the flip side, as I do not want to seem to insult all black men, I have met some charismatic and intelligent black men whom I admire and respect a whole lot and who understand that it is not about skin, it’s about what’s under it, way deep down. I’ve always said a good man does not have to tell you he’s good, you can see it from a mile away. He exudes the aura of class, respect and intelligence. And then if he so happens to be “different” on the outside cover, SO WHAT?! It makes the relationship more interesting. I have to agree that a lot of people miss out on so much because they won’t give people of other races a chance, and that is unfortunate. I’m hoping and praying that some people do not miss out on true love because of their close minded ignorance.
On August 8, 2007 @ 9:02 am
trish said,
ok so i read all of these..and i think all people r equal..god created us all to be different..why should color pimentation change the way someone looks at someone else? i myself love all people and i have a lot of colored friends i love them..and they r ok with me datin colored men..and im ok when they date a white male…whats the big deal? white girls are no different than any other race..women of all races should be respected and give respect in return..dont down other girls because they choose to date a man of different color..it doesnt matter..love is love..and if its meant to be then god made that plan..and everyone knows jesus is perfect and can make nothing but a perfect plan..everything happens for a reason..respect and love one another..i feel strongly about racism and i stand up for my friends…what ur ancestors went through was very wrong..and i will voice my opinion to anyone no matter who it is..but it was long ago..i still respect the ones who went through it..and it disturbs me when we study it but i love learning history about everything anyone went through..and yes there is racism today but it goes all ways..by sayin white girls shouldnt be with colored men is kind of saying we r not good enough..any girl no matter what race or color has the right to choose..the only person who can judge is god himself..and please if u have read the holy bible u will see that there is not a single word that says a a person should date only someone from the same race..y do humans accept homosexuality but have a problem with interacial dating? we all need to take a step back and realize that there is one god and he loves us all no matter what color! BECAUSE WE ARE ALL EQUAL..we may be different colors but we all bleed the same blood..the same blood christ shed for us..so please dont judge..just love..god has a plan for each and every one of us..who is anyone to say who someone else can or cannot love..god bless
On August 28, 2007 @ 6:25 pm
samantha Lynn said,
I know wat u feel i hacve been datind this balack boy for a month now and no one want us together cause i am white and he is black…but we both said we dont care if people in school or anywhere look at us funny as long as we have each other. We just ignore every one else and be happy. I think Tat i s the best thing to do. I mean yeah he is hot and sexy but that not why io with him he is a sweet heart and ik love him so much no matter what any one says or think….that will never change.
On November 9, 2007 @ 9:51 am
Jimmy Charite said,
May be the problem is that we give race to much importance?
I understand that discrimination is alive and well, therefore race should not be completely ignored. The ramifications of slavery still exist today. But at some point we have to start separating our race from our identity: I am not a black man, I am a man in a black body!
On December 6, 2007 @ 11:44 pm
anjulita said,
my first boyfriend was black and he had dated girls of all types. i was with him for 2 years. … Someone had mentioned how white women take all the “better off” black men well he wasnt one of those “better off” men but i liked his personality and certainly his looks and he felt the same way about me- anyways i remember going to church with him one sunday (the whole day) and i had never felt so uncomfortable and out of place in my life! i respect the african culture and people for all that has happened to them and what they had to go through but i felt like i was commiting a crime and disrespecting everyone by being a white person in a church. i dont think thats fair considering i was they’re for the same reason they were?! its a church im not supose to feel that way in the home of god. another time i was walking down the street and i got beat up by a group of girls who were hispanic and or black on the way to his house - just for being WHITE in a certain neighborhood. My next semi/serious boyfriend was Spanish and he also had dated girls of many different races. He also wasnt “better off” when i met him and wasnt that good looking but i liked his personality so i went with it. his dad loved me, thought i was a great influence on his son (he got away from the streets, got a job, started getting his life together, etc.. but his step-mom on the other hand did not like me, wouldnt let me stay over the house, didnt even want me around because she wanted him to be with someone of his “own” heritage. i had to sleep outside in his dads van one night because i wasnt allowed in! Well that relationship didnt last long because his ex- (a WHITE girl) started creating all this drama and whatever. It wasnt a long term thing anyway… so now i have a Fiance who is black, spanish and white - we have been together for 2 years . He was brought up differently than my other boyfriends and i do agree with whoever said that how you were brought up -CAN- play a role into who you are attracted. although my fiance’s family doesnt discriminate (he was adopted by a muslim man and a irish protestant woman). but then again i grew up in an pure old italian family who go for strictly and only other italians. i always got shit from my family for not bringing home a nice italian boy. But i dont care because its who I - as a person - am attracted to in the end and who I -as a person- want to be with not who my family wants ME to be with and not what was right back in the 1940’s .. its about NOW and its about ME and what makes ME happy. i have had white boyfriends… but some werent nice guys ive had black and spanish boyfriends and some werent nice guys… i am attracted to any man with an awesome personality… you could be a not so easy on the eye person but are able to make me laugh for hours on end and that would attract me very much. of course most people go on first impressions but ive been secretly been attracted to those dorky nerds when i was in high school because of who they were as a PERSON> people should be able to date and hang out with whom ever they want! i really do like the movie save the last dance that deffinetly plays into the question asked… but the moral of the movie was people should be able to hang out with who they want to and it shouldnt matter the color of skin… it should be what kind of person they are theyre personality .. this whole black and white and spanish segregating thing has gone on for too long. people just need to RELAX and just live life and stop with all this controversy and arguing and prejudice and stereotypes and stupid bullshit and just be life and be happy and stop concerning themselves with other people and what they are doing. getting stressed out for nothing!!
On February 27, 2008 @ 3:22 pm
Gavin Rossi said,
I’m a ‘white’ male attracted to any type of female as long as she is sane.
my last girlfriend was going off the deep end. She was white. She found out I made out with this sizzling hot ‘black’ woman one night at an office party. I’m only human okay? Red dress, brown skin. FUCK she was hot! 
Things got bizarre from there. From that moment I found that white women do absolutely nothing for me. I mean. I can form friendships with them but when it comes to lust and raw attraction, dark-skinned women got me there. And white ladies are always asking me but why but why? lol
They seem to be more attracted to me now that I show my preference for black women. I only ever get hit on by white women. Do black women really ever hit on men? well italian men? lol give it a go…you’d make a poor white lad’s whole f’n year.
On April 2, 2008 @ 2:38 am
Vincent Oshiro said,
I am a half asian, 1/4 white, 1/4 A WHOLE LOT OF DIFFERENT CRAP, young man of 20 years old.
I was almost racist against “white people” because of some of the ridiculous, insensitive, and down right closed mindedness that many of “them” seem to share. HOWEVER; living in Baltimore Maryland, and being 1/2 Japanese, I ended up being around mostly black and white people. There is a very minuscule Asian population in Baltimore, and of those Asians very very few are Japanese… This environment made me find myself, at many times, nearly ‘racist’ against white people, because of the ignorance that seems to leak out of their mouthes every time they find the ability to mutter up words… However I realized now that growing up and hearing this sort of ignorance was just exposing me to the wrong kind of white people, I was being jaded because of the bad apples.
I think that many many many people of diverse cultures don’t like WHITE PEOPLE because of the ignorance and bias that many of them tend to show, such as “red necks” and “socialites”. If every white person were a hill billy or a rich kid, then every black person would be a theif, every asian a ninja, and every hispanic person a worhtless boarder jumper.
Point being…
WE STEREO TYPE.
Humans love to over simplify each other, and if that didn’t include group by color/ ethnicity, it would be some other ridiculous thing.
We ALL have to at some point be able to look BEYOND stereo types so we can reckognize that we’re all so ridiculously alike we’re basically just hating ourselves >.>
In short…
I think “what’s wrong with white girls” is that they are stereo typed, as are all races of people…
Personally? I date a lot of white girls, because I find they are attracted to me and I to them, and the attraction often leads to more serious interests.
Do I get looks? Sort of, but I’d like to think it’s a compliment, like. “What a lucky guy to be with that girl!”
On April 21, 2008 @ 9:02 pm
STIGGER said,
Yea, why is it a problem to the balck girls and even sum white folks, its pretty funny u talked about this cuz when I went to dinner with my white girl, in a rather expensive resturant,I got the same stare and am pretty sure they were thinking she was the one with the money and was goin to pay,especially when i relised about 5 people staring at me when I was about to pay,White girls are sweet and more likely to keep a guy,not that black girls dont,but who wants to deal with complications when there is an easy way to settle down, well thats my opinion and am entitled to it, maybe blacks girls can learn sumthing from their own men going in for the white girls
On May 16, 2008 @ 8:38 am
Daryoush said,
I’m a halfbreed. I’m half Iranian, half European. Some of you seem concerned about black men not respecting the culture and not loving black women… saying that black men are conditioned to find white women attractive and demonize the black female. Well, I’ve lived in this country my whole life and have been subjected to the same media pressures as any other male regardless of race, and I can safely say that I find women attractive. I don’t care if you’re white, black, Persian, Asian, Latin or anything else…if you’re hot…you’re hot. I suppose being a halfbreed makes me not care about race. I’ve lived in a mixed house all my life and race doesn’t seem to matter. Culture however is different. Culture is pretty huge. I can understand you wanting to keep it. In my household we keep both the cultures. That’s what America is about anyways….a melting pot. For example, my Iranian grandmother taught my mother how to cook Persian food (and she’s damn good at it too) and my Iranian father decided to become Lutheran… a mixture of cultures in one household. You’ll never loose your culture by dating someone of another race. I happen to enjoy the company of women that aren’t white or Persian. Does this mean that I’m going to stop being the halfbreed that I am? No….this just means that I’m dating whoever makes me happy. That’s what life is about, being happy.
This country has always been a mixture of cultures. I’m an example of this. My dad loves my mom and there is no one on this earth that could tell him not to marry a white woman. Love is love and no racial differences can come between that. Being happy with his life was more important to my father than finding ‘a good Persian woman’ as my Iranian grandfather would say. After all… that’s what life is about, being happy.
Screw that racial crap. Be Happy!
Peace be upon you.
On May 16, 2008 @ 2:12 pm