If you’ve ever been in a classroom where the instructor didn’t care to know if the class got the stuff he was teaching, you’ll know what I mean when I say that good communication has a lot to do with making sure the other person understands what you’re talking about. Of course, there are times when the other person just won’t get it—until, perhaps, you try another approach. And that, my friends, is what makes a good communicator and that, is also the hurdle that a lot of relationships must learn to overcome. Some people won’t understand (or even detect) what you’re trying to communicate (eg. “I Like you,” using vague body language). That doesn’t mean that they’re a bad communicator. If they don’t catch your drift, you should probably try something else. Don’t repeat the same stuff expecting something to appear through the grapevine. The best communicators in the world are typically those who are able to use different approaches so that even the most unattentive are able to understand.

The flip side to this is that the one recieving information has to help the process by: asking questions, reaffirming what has been said and staying until they’re sure they’ve understood things to the best of their ability.

Popularity: 13%

Communication is like a well written book. You can’t put it down once you pick it up. At times, it’s rushed and abrasive and at others, timely and savory. It may be shy and reclusive or outspoken and forthright. It’s often whole and complete, not lacking in depth or transparency. And should you need to thumb through the pages you’ve already visited, it shouldn’t take you long to find what you’re looking for.

All that said, there’s a very important “Medium of communication” that some people need to understand. The following are different media used for communication, their pros (if they have any) and cons.

1. AOL Instant Messenger
   Or anything of the like can’t be used to talk about anything of substance. I’ve seen people talk about hard-boiled issues of their relationship over AIM. Why on earth would they do that? That’s what I said! Over AIM, there’s typically no face for you to look at, which means no expressions, emotions or signs, (which does almost 50% of the “talking” during a face to face meeting), is available to you. This means your conversation will probably take you twice as long to complete (if at all), it’ll be harder to come to a close and one or more persons will become thoroughly unimpressed with the other. Secondly, there’s no tone of voice to tell you how a person intended something. This leaves room for more unintentional offenses. There’s too much of an interval where you can’t tell whether the person is thinking about what you’re saying, or cooking up a reason to say “brb” or “gtg, ttyl.” Use AIM when you need to communicate quickly and what you have to say can’t be taken the wrong way. For example: “Hey, I got your voicemail, let’s do dinner at eight, then.”
2. Text Messages
   This one’s just as bad as AIM. Only, it’s more of a pain to read, it can cost a whole lot of money and can come at the most inconvenient times—like when you’re at a funeral and your special person texts you to say, “It’s over.” Again, use as you would use for AIM or for little harmless “goodnight” messages etc.
3. Email
   Oh boy, this one is just not groovy. Here again, you have the same pitfalls as the two aforementioned media. But with email, it’s so impersonal, you’d be best off limiting this one to your work world. How would you feel if you got an email at 1:30 from the person you were seeing that looked like the unabridged version of Moby Dick? OR maybe all your communication happened in the cyberworld? Probably not too happy, I’m sure. There’s also too much of a time lapse between responses with email that it’s just not a good idea. Not everyone has internet, you know!
4. Letters
   Ahh, this one is interesting. I would say that if you’re experiencing uptime in this relationship and you’d like to send a thoughtful, rather traditional method of expressing your affection, this isn’t a bad way to do it. However, don’t use it to detail a sack of problems or pop the big question. Why be so roundabout? If you don’t feel comfortable enough around this person to talk face to face about your issues, something needs to change.
5. Phone
   The telephone does things a little better. There’s the element of hearing introduced here which helps with tone, feeling and other indicators that give you a more vivid picture of what you’re up against. I’ll put it this way–I’ll talk on the phone if I can’t see you face-to-face right then and there. But there are still general exceptions (like breakups) that just need to be a face-to-face thing if at all possible.
6. Face-to-Face
   The great thing about face-to-face interactions is that you don’t have to read! Yay! Well, except “reading” their expressions but you get the picture. What’s also wonderful is that you get to see a pleasant (or sometimes, not so pleasant) face, but a face nonetheless. You can tell when that person is shy, upset, angry, embarrassed, nervous, happy, sad and all the rest of it, without them uttering a word. So many external factors could also help you. Take smell for instance. Your chances at that first date could be enhanced because she smells a killer scent on you. Or maybe you think that girl is not your type until you hear her voice flow from her lips and it sends you to an exotic island for 5 minutes straight. It’s the richest medium of communication but so many times, people want to be as broke as AIM will make them.

Popularity: 9%

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want the first thing I notice about a girl to be her body. Neither do I want her to notice my body at first. As clichéd as this might sound, I’m the kind of guy that wants to meet a girl as regular as she’s willing to come, get to know her and then enjoy her other features later, as we learn more about each other. The beauty of the body shines through when you like them for the right reasons. Otherwise, when looks is the first thing you’re attracted to, it might mean it’ll be one of the strongest reasons for your attraction, which could lead to some problems later.

I don’t really see what all the fuss is about. If you don’t like my body, great! After all, this body will get scarred, bruised, wrinkled, diseased while also putting out all kinds of disgusting waste. Heck, I don’t even like it that much. So why are you paying so much attention to it? I mean, when you’re a baby, you’re universally cute. I don’t think many people would argue that but it’s all downhill from there. If instead you go for their insides, you grab hold of something that is likely to stay good and even get better over the long haul. Humor, personality, charm, character are elements that’ll age like good wine and the body, like rotten cheese (some much faster than others).

Popularity: 12%

One of the undervalued benefits of being a businessman is the immunity you develop to rejection. This is because, more than anyone else, they get doors, phones, even hands and articles of clothing slammed in their faces. Most business people are typically risk-prone and avid venture-seekers. Learning the tricks of their trade will inevitably help you in many aspects of life, not to mention, the benefits to be won in the dating world. So here are some tips on how to take it like man—-a salesman, that is. Interestingly enough, I haven’t had the liberty of experiencing rejection as it relates to dating, so take all advice with a grain of salt.

1. Accept that it might happen.
   I’m not trying to kill your self esteem here, (because we all know how important that is), but I’m trying to say that you shouldn’t ask your special someone the big question the way you’d ask your mom if you were her child. That’s just not smart. If you’ve never been stabbed before, then that’ll probably do it. Remember that salesman always expect rejection and have a little plan to take it in a little better. It might pay off to do the same. I hate to remind you that we don’t live in a perfect world, folks. There’s a possibility (and sometimes it’s rather large) that you’ll get a big fat “No.” Just know that it’s possible they’ll turn you down. Keep your head up and move on!
2. It’s a done deal
   Salesmen know when their prospective client is not going to be won over. In fact, if he’s a good salesmen, he’ll know not to waste his time trying to convince the client way ahead of time. Sure, there are times when they might ask if their client is sure of their final decision, which is all all cool and gravy, but they don’t start giving their life story explaining how they need that sale to live on. I mean the last thing you want to do is look like you’re suffering from diarrhea of the mouth. You didn’t lose your birthright, nobody died and you’re going to live another day. Stop crying, get off your knees, mop the doorstep (it’s only polite) and look to better prospects as the new day dawns.
3. Learn from it
   The reason salesmen aren’t extinct is because they inevitably learned a lot from their days of rejection and adapted accordingly. You can’t go through life without learning from your mistakes. (I mean you can, but trust me, you don’t want to be that person). If you learn from your mistakes (as well as those of others), you’ll probably have a much better chance the next time you feel the time is right—-or you might just realize that people don’t understand that life’s too short.

Popularity: 7%

You hear that guys? She actually wants to be your girlfriend! Go ahead, read the title again. See? That should be incentive enough for you to clean up your act. Everyone knows that mothers do an amazing job training kids and teaching them how to be good little boys and girls. How they manage to do this, I don’t know– it’s almost as if it were built into every one of them.

Now, as true as this might be, it is only ever applicable to children. In case you’ve been hit by a truck while recovering from severe amnesia, that’s typically people aged 1-6. If you’re not in this age group, you do not qualify. The woman you’re seeing doesn’t need to teach you manners, nor does she need to clean up or even show you how to clean up after yourself. She needn’t remind you of your age or hint at how immature you get just for you to realize that you’re supposed to be a responsible grown up. And now, a guideline for those who need it:

1. Clean up after yourself
   The beer, the food, the trash and don’t forget the toilet.
2. Volunteer
   You’ve done it before and you did it for free! Why not do it with the dishes or dinner? Or better yet, with both?
3. Manners, please!
   Manners just love to be used. So when you feel angry and upset and you just want to use the heck out of something, manners are calling your name.
4. Act Your Age
   Hopefully this won’t have to be an act for most of you but instead, would come naturally. Some of you, however, may need to take some classes on this one. Not that there’s a book that says what a so-and-so aged person should act like but someone who is say 26, shouldn’t act like a 4 year old. Okay, nuff said.
5. Be Responsible
   Remember when mom used to do everything for you cause you couldn’t do it yourself?
   Those days are over. It’s time to come to grips with that. Take responsibility for the roles you’ve placed yourself in and get better at them.

Hopefully, those should get you started on the right foot, and if that wasn’t enough, the ladies can give you some more detailed suggestions. Isn’t that right ladies?

Popularity: 8%