Back in the day, Facebook used to be just dandy. It was a pretty cool directory where you could match a familiar face to a name, or email. It was often a more convenient medium of contacting people (who you may not have otherwise been able to reach) with real intentions of getting together in the real world. Many students saw it as a noticeable benefit in the new and large world of college. However, those days seem to be long gone. Many question whether Facebook really “connects us to the people around us” as it purports to do on it’s site, saying: what about being tied to your computer stalking people, sending grammatically incorrect notes and looking at images in cyberspace really connects us? Wouldn’t talking, or dancing or dining be a much better way? Some say it helps them keep in touch with people from their past and others argue, if you really needed Facebook to do that, I pity your relationship.

They say it all began when Facebook introduced the developer platform, a medium through which independent coders and programmers could access Facebook’s API to develop many of the applications that have now completely over-saturated the social network. Excessive Vampire-Slayer-Monkey-Pirate-Pool requests and other such useless application invitations are driving users up the wall, some claiming receipt of over 200 of these requests daily. Yes, Zombies are cool but I don’t want to be one. I like playing Poker but not online. And no, I am not any kind of cheese, so quit it. It’s gone so far that people are buying “gifts”— small icons of random items that you purchase for $1 (yes, real money),—for your friends. Are you serious!? While such a gesture can be appreciated, why buy me an icon of a cup of coffee when for 60 cents more we could enjoy a real cup of coffee and have a meaningful conversation? Yes, much of this is exacerbated by having over 1,000 “friends” but when you’re spending more time declining application requests than really connecting with people, you feel that there’s no return on investment. When asked why she deleted her account, a friend responded “I’m just over it.”

The social networking giant also seems to promote a kind of vanity and self-importance as we see hundreds of flattering profile pictures of people with lists of their favorite things to gain approval or validation. “It’s all seems quite vain, really. Whether it’s flattering photos, number of friends, “Are-you-interested?” applications, or wall posts–it all says the same thing. Look at Me”! One student, after bulk replying a “Thank You” message to over 400 of his “friends” who had wished him a happy birthday on his Facebook wall, was surprised to find that some recipients were upset with him because the message was not personalized. Really? He then hid the information prior to his next birthday and was greeted with a reasonable 7 wall posts which just went show how much his “friends” of the year before actually cared about his birthday.

Facebook has been deemed by critics to employ some of the worst practices in running and managing an online social network. Many feel that Facebook is a very closed network where all of the information posted on the site; pictures, messages, notes and friends’ information are only ever going to be on Facebook. A great move for Facebook but a poor one for users. Events and calendars can’t be synced to Google or iCal (at least not natively), friends’ information can’t be backed-up or downloaded and Facebook messages are quickly replacing emails. “I feels like it’s not only locking me out of the rest of my digital life but my real life as well.” As Facebook probes it’s users for more and more information, for advertising’s sake, more and more users oblige, leaving the resisting remainder little choice but to resort to Facebook because the users putting up the information have relinquished their real lives to keep up with their virtual ones. One friend put it this way: “The more information you put in the walled virtual garden, the harder it seems for people to escape into the real thing.”

Similarly, Facebook’s voracious appetite for advertising dollars has led to advanced forms of trickery, hidden in a horrendously long and ambiguous “Terms of Use” agreement, disgraceful information exploitation attempts (like beacon) and an ever increasing barrage of marketing ploys encouraging increased surface-level “friendships”. The “People you may know” feature on Facebook shows you people you might know recognize in hopes of adding them as a friend. It was quite amusing to find underneath one of the pictures, “So-and-so goes to Georgia Tech”….And!? Is that supposed to make me add them? Do you expect that to win me over? What’s next? “This person is male?” Sheesh! Let’s turn this off. Oh, wait, we can’t. I guess we can’t just be happy with the meaningful relationships we have. We need Facebook to advise us. Oh and by the way, for those who are privacy control freaks, Facebook can change their policies any time they like and not notify you. They follow an opt-out policy like nobody’s business. New feature comes in, guess what, you’re already signed up for it. And you won’t know because they reserve the right to tell—or not.

This then brings us to privacy. Let’s go out on a limb here and say you’ve actually read the Terms of Use policy, all 16 pages—I know, very long limb. Nevertheless, upon reading it you would notice that they offer you the ability to put your personal information on their site so that they can, “Collect this information so that we can provide you the service and offer personalized features,” otherwise know as Advertising. Also, “When you update information, we usually keep a backup copy or the prior version for a reasonable period of time to enable reversion to the prior version of that information.” This means you can’t delete anything so objective #1 of Advertising can be accomplished. “By posting User Content to any part of the Site, you automatically grant, and you represent and warrant that you have the right to grant, to the Company and irrevocable, perpetual, non-exclusive, transferable,, fully paid, worldwide license (with the right to sublicensee) to use, copy, publicly perform, publicly display, reformat, translate, excerpt (in whole or in part) and distribute such User Content for any purpose, commercial, advertising or otherwise.” Your information is there for them to use—-all of it. Every last picture, every last post. Your information is at even greater risk with applications where you give unknown developers (yes, even less trustworthy than you fake friends) access to your information and you have no idea what they’re doing with it. You think you do because they agreed not to blah blah blah. In less than three hours, one coder from BBC created a mining program that was disguised as a game that downloaded boatloads of information from people’s profiles. If nothing else sticks, understand how much people are willing to pay for advertising. After-all, we haven’t forgotten about big boy Google who’s entire business is just that. You may not see it now, but that’s because things are gradual. Comparing Facebook now and when it first came out is unbelievable. This can happen with advertising. Believe it.

Oh and if you’re thinking about deleting your account and never tried it, you’ll be amazed at how well Facebook thinks they know that you will come back. Hence the “deactivation” option. And if you’re strong enough to rebel, it seems like you’ll have to delete everything you’ve every contributed to the site, every post, every message, every picture, everything. You may even have re- add applications you’ve put information into in the past and delete the information before deleting it again (because they keep your info even if you delete the app). Then you have to send an email to Facebook and hope that you haven’t left a trace somewhere. Oh, don’t forget about what they’ve archived too. Just ridiculous. It’s guess it’s like the Hotel California: “You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.”

As for me, I’ve had enough. I’ve cut the cord and this time there’s no coming back.

—Update—

I’m infuriated. Just a few days after I asked Facebook to completely delete my account I decided to do a little searching on the web for my name—just to see what I’d find. To my utter disgust, I discover that my Facebook profile information is now publicly viewable at bigsight.org? What!??! I promptly sent Facebook a message demanding to know why my Facebook profile information was now on this other site just as it was before I deleted it just a few days ago. Their response was pathetic: “We’re sorry about your situation and feel that bigsight.org may be violating Facebooks’ terms of…” blah blah blah….. Did they hack into your servers and steal the information? Or maybe you just released to them or churned a hansome profit because I was no longer a member and thus bound to your dumb agreements. If for nothing else, had I know of the sheer unscrupulousness of Facebook, I would have left a long long time ago.

Popularity: 2%

Well ladies, what’s it going to be? Jerk or pushover? (”Other” is not an option). I’ll give you some time……Ok, times up. When asked this question, most girls would probably go for “Jerk.” Why? Well, because pushovers are…well….pushovers! I mean, don’t you just get sick of them? Really, when you’ve got them wrapped around your pretty little fingers, politely obeying every command you give them, never questioning your intentions, what use are they? What use are they when they can’t be forceful, can’t say no or even beat you sometimes? It’s like they’re not even worthy to be called a man. Nope, no backbone here. I’d rather have jellyfish for a boyfriend right?

But what about the jerk? Alas! Some excitement in life! A guy who can appreciate you for the lovely legs and thighs that you truly are! Someone who knows how to put his foot down, again and again and again. Nope, he’s not afraid to take things Jerry Springer style if he wants to. He calls you by your many names—most of which are conveniently located in the Urban Dictionary, and all of which you heinously despise but settle with, because you want a man who knows how to stand up for himself. He doesn’t call, doesn’t pay and doesn’t care. And you think, gosh, what luck has befallen me!

Okay, so I’ve misled you. “Other” is in fact an option, but some ladies out there are yet to realize this. Yes, “other” may take a little longer and “other” may seem like they’re all taken. Heck, “other” may not even be ready for the market right now. And yes, there’s no perfect situation but if you’re dissatisfied with these two alternatives, others are out there….waiting for you. Will you wait for them?

Popularity: 10%

Ahh, so you’re either not very good with the ladies, you thought pick-up lines were cool, or you were just too lazy to approach her the right way. Here are some pick-up lines that we’ve heard over the years. We guarantee an absolute 0% success rate with these . All right, let’s see ‘em;

Straight to the point
You have one life. She has one life so let’s hurry it along.

1. Whatcho name is? - This is downright “gangsta” and sure to get her attention.
2. So, what do you like to do for fun? (Why?) Because I’m gonna ask you out - He’s not kidding.
3. Are you busy tonight at 3:00 A.M - An open ended question that’ll leave her “curious”
4. I have only three months to live. .. - Whoa….

Downright Cheesy
Squirm-in-your-chair, roll-your-eyes painful.

1. Bond. James Bond – Because you’re just that suave. Let’s hope she thinks so too.
2. Hey…somebody farted. Let’s get out of here. - Yea, and I bet it was you!
3. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put “U” and “I” together. - Sorry bud, you can’t rearrange the alphabet and “U” and “I” are nowhere near “together.”
4. Do you have a map cause I just keep getting lost in your eyes. - Maybe she should blacken one of them to help you focus a little better.

Somewhat Innocent
You’re actually a sane person and you want to try something much less abrasive.

1. What is your favorite color? (Answer) Mine too! -Try to be really convincing!
2. Giant polar bear!! (What?) It broke the ice. - She’ll either laugh or throw a drink in your face.
3. You know, you might be asked to leave soon. You’re making the other women look really bad Flattery anyone?
4. What’s a nice girl like you doing in a place like this? - Hmm…I don’t know. What am I doing here?

Wittingly Daring
You know what you want and you’ve got no fear.

1. I’m sorry, were you talking to me? (No.) Well then, please start. - Sure to make a girl chuckle….maybe.
2. Let’s take a shower together — you smell! Ouch.
3. Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes? - Ooh, someone’s going to get slapped.
4. Guy: Sorry, but you owe me a drink. Girl: Why? Guy: I looked at you and dropped mine - I hope she’s a generous person…

***Disclaimer: Savvy Minded is not responsible for any damage incurred by any parties choosing to indulge in the use of aforementioned pick-up lines. Use at your own discretion

Popularity: 10%

Now I’m sure I’m not the only one who forgets people’s names the minute they announce it. See, what happens is this: When I meet someone and they’re first to introduce, I’m too busy reminding myself that I need to introduce myself once they’re done. That might sound crazy, but I’ve actually walked away from handshakes without giving the other person my name, only to have them pull me over to say they don’t “believe” they got my name, when what they really meant to say was “Aye! You smokin’ crack?! You better get your behind over here and tell me who you are before I jump you!” And boy, if I wasn’t black, my face would resemble a big fat cherry every time that happened. So apparently I was hearing what they were saying but not really “listening”. Yea, that’s bad, I know, but I’m working on it. Remember that people’s names are important and one should strive to learn them…..

But how do you know if someone knows that you don’t know their name? Perhaps when you say “Hey, man” every time you see them? Or “‘Sup Dude” or better yet, just “‘Sup?” Do they take offense to that? I once had someone completely ignore me because they had reason to believe that I didn’t know their name and when confronted, said, “Pshh, you don’t even know my name.” At this, I was taken aback but not surprised. After all, I had never really called her by her name and on several occasions just couldn’t bring it to memory. However, at that instant it immediately shot out of my mouth and left her quite dumbfounded. She had no excuse and was embarrassed, to say the least. But people do notice…no matter how good you think you are at masking it.

But you may slip up every now and then and find yourself in a nasty mess. I mean, let’s say you legitimately forget someone’s name. How many tries does one get before asking becomes unacceptable? Are they allowed to have clues? What if you just don’t see that person that much? What if they really look like this other person you know? And don’t get me started with twins, telling me they look nothing alike! Who do they think they’re fooling?

But the worst part is, they rarely every forgot my name!! What’s that all about? Why can’t things just be mutual? Cheez! Get it together people!

Popularity: 6%

Aren’t gyms great? I mean, you get to burn some energy, relieve some stress and meet all sorts of people. Well, I don’t know about you but I’m not too fond of them myself.

First off, those weights are really heavy! Yea, and if you don’t have someone to spot you, you might near kill yourself. Secondly, nobody ever smiles! Ever! That’s just not cool. How can something as universal as smiling be looked down upon? It seems like everyone is out to “out-buff” the other person and smiling is a sign of weakness. Oh, and don’t even try talking to anybody. They’ll give you this look like you’re the scum from underneath their feet. It seems as if everyone’s super insecure because the next guy is “more cut” or has bigger biceps than they do and to get over it they have to be seen lifting twice as much as the other guy—even if it looks like cruel and unusual punishment.

It’s like a jungle sometimes. Often when I’m there, all I see are large beastly men with muscles where I never thought they could grow, walking around like apes, pulling on bars, teeth clenched, eyes popping, and grunting very loudly. That kind of environment just makes for tense situations where people embrace irrational decision making. I learned that the general rule of, “If you can’t lift it, put it down,” has been rejected by gyms worldwide. You see guys who look like they’re being electrocuted, shaking frantically trying to lift weights that are just too heavy. I tend to treat weights like kids; the bigger they are, the less you want to pick them up.

But on occasion, I’ll pretend I don’t know anything about working out (pshh, like I need to pretend!), and randomly ask someone to show me the ropes. At this point their egos swell and they say something like: “Well, what you really need to do is work your quadrazoids on the tri-galacto machine over there. And make sure you lift at least 300Ibs, otherwise you’ll ruin the work-out”

Popularity: 9%